{♥} Happiness is like a rainbow, Sometimes we can only see it after we've shed enough tears on our cloudy days

Monday, July 27, 2009

If you think i am revenging on you. you are so wrong. i am not revenging. i just want to know how it's feel. that all. why must you think till so complicated? i just want you to understand how i feel so that you won't repeat your mistakes again. yeps, i admit i did wrong things to you. but who did more? you or me? who forgive who more? honestly, i feel that you did much more wrong stuffs then me. why? because when you have bf, you ps me countless of times ( talking about the past one) i was unhappy and upset but did i mention anything about it? it really when i can't take it anymore then i told you. i tried to be understanding but it's got limit too. think back when i got bf i didn't really ps you. it only when the point we drift then i spend time with my others friends. i am not trying to push the blame to you because both of us have faults. however, i feel that you are pushing the blame to me and making people feel that i bully you when the fact is not. AND if you think you are giving in a lot in this friendship. think again. because i don't feel so. till now you don't understand and are trying to push all the blame to me. yes, you might feel that you are giving in yet i am not appreciating. but you think it through again. when you realised we have drift and tried to revive back. it's too late alr? perhaps you felt tired and want to give up alr. oh wow. i don't know our friendship was so fragile that you can give up without a second thoughts. then how about me? did i ever give up on our friendship? when i know you drift away from me i tried my best effort to revive it back but you didn't appreciate it too. so you know how i feel at that point of time? AND there one thing i want to verify, i am not giving up on our friendship. i just needed time to sort out my mind and feelings. thinking what i should do. i came to a decsion that we stay the way we are first. but i guess you don't want. you say i hide things from you. i didn't. i just don't feel like talking about it. what the point of talking about it and getting upset and then cry? fine, if you say i am hiding things from you then ask yourself this question. why am i hiding things from you? you should know i never hide things from you till recently. everytime or sometime, i tell you stuffs, ask you not to say, you would always break it and go tell someone about it. so how you expect me to trust you again? before you say i anyhow say. go think about it first. did you or did you not? and you always expect me to forgive you whatever wrong things you do? even it's mean disppointing and hurting myself? then it's so unfair to me! i am sorry. i can't conceive myself this time round because i feel that in the past i always forgive and forget making you taking it for granted and thinking no matter what happened i will forgive you. pls! i am a human with feelings too. i will feel hurt, upset, disppointed. have you ever spare a thought for me? or even think in my shoes? seriously, i am very fed up with you because i feel that you are pushing all the blame to me when both of us are at fault. one LAST point, if you think you are the only one getting upset or even crying over this matter. you are so WRONG!!! i also feel upset and did cry too. stop saying that i don't appreciate and pushing all the blame to me.